


Tis' the Season

by DisplacedWarrior



Category: Army Wives
Genre: Drabble, F/F, Implied Claudia Joy/Denise, reference to canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-04-04 20:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4152612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisplacedWarrior/pseuds/DisplacedWarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas time and Claudia Joy is missing Amanda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tis' the Season

**Author's Note:**

> Story time: so back in 2007 before I had a tumblr hell if I'm not mistaken before tumblr was even a _thing_ I got sucked into the first season of Army Wives. I immediately noticed the special connection between Claudia Joy Holden and Denise Sherwood and Holy femslash Batman! was that first season chock full of subtexty goodness. So naive baby queer that I was, super intimidated by live journal, choosing to mostly just 'lurk' and seeking out someone to talk to about all of my feels I made a post on imdb of all things.
> 
> I quickly learned what a huge mistake _that_ was when upon explaining what exactly subtext was to some confused responders the thread was flooded with offended, angry 'real wives of army officers' with 'real lady friendships' that were not at all homo thank you very much and other straight viewers who didn't understand WHY I would insinuate something so horrible........ If I'm not mistaken the thread was eventually taken down because someone reported it.
> 
> Fast Forward to me watching the bloopers reel on the first season dvd AND KIM DELANELY KISSING CATHERINE BELL IN 2 OF THE MOST SUBTEXT HEAVY SCENES......SUCK ON THAT GROWN ASS WOMEN ATTACKING A TEENAGER ON THE INTERNET FOR HAVING THE NERVE TO ASK IF ANYONE ELSE SAW THE SPARKS BEWTWEEN CJ AND DENISE.
> 
> So yeah that was my little story and while I may have stopped watching long before the show stopped airing, the Claudia Joy/Denise pairing will forever live on in glory of season 1 (I think a bit in season 2) and the blooper reels, thank you Kim Delaney.

Tis' the season, Claudia Joy sighed into her coco.  
  
Her perch on the couch was the perfect vantage point to take in the all festiveness that adorned her living room.  
  
The tree stood tall adorned with bright lights and twinkling ornaments, splendidly wrapped gifts sat beneath its branches, hell, even the throw blanket she was wrapped in bore an embroidered Christmas scene.  
  
Her eyes fell on the stockings hanging from the mantle, and she had to choke back a sob.  
  
Three.  
  
That number would never stop haunting her.  
  
Only three stockings in front of the fireplace where there should be four.  
  
Her first attempt at decorating for the holidays found Claudia Joy in a sobbing heap on the floor, desperately clutching Amanda's stocking.  
  
It would be unrealistic to believe the wounds would ever completely heal. There was no simply 'getting over' the loss of a child but she had thought she was over uncontrollable crying fits at the very least.  
  
For the most part she was. Enough time had passed since Amanda's death that the raw, searing pain was replaced with a dull if constant ache. She was able to recall certain memories with fondness instead of a complete breakdown. But every now and then something would trigger the flood a scent, a sound, and object.  
  
It was happening more and more infrequently, though when it did the effects were devastating.  
  
Claudia Joy shook her head in an attempt to clear it, determined to keep it together this time.  
  
The crackling of the fire and warmth of the hot chocolate aided in the free flow of her thoughts.  
  
Since teaching Emmaline to drive their relationship had improved. She was grateful everyday that she was able to reach out through her own grief to embrace Emmaline. Claudia Joy wouldn't have survived losing another daughter even on an emotional level.  
  
Yes Amanda was gone, but Emmaline, Emmaline was still here and she deserved the best Claudia Joy had to give.  
  
She refused to fail Emmaline, their relationship was a beacon of light in the darkness.  
  
She found her thoughts settling on Michael. She could feel them drifting farther apart but simply couldn't bring herself to do something about it.  
  
He had tried, she saw that, but it still didn't change how she felt.  
  
It had nothing to do with Amanda's death. At most it could be said Amanda's death brought certain emotions to the surface, feelings none of them were prepared to deal with at this moment in time, if ever.  
  
Brown eyes and a heart-stopping smile flashed in Claudia Joy's mind.  
  
Yes, never seemed like the perfect time to deal with such matters. Claudia Joy finally decided, finally taking a sip of her no longer hot chocolate.

**Author's Note:**

> When I wrote this forever ago I toyed with the idea of adding to it. For now it'll remain a ficlet but I'm really tempted to flesh it out if for no other reason then there is not nearly enough CJ/Denise fanfic in the universe and this barely counts so....we'll see.


End file.
